Feeling drained? Words of wisdom for the weary
Rest, Recuperation and Relaxation: A small scale social ‘study’
Introduction
With so many things draining our energy levels at the moment, now seems a fitting time to focus our self care journey on ‘rest’. I decided to look at the ways in which we can incorporate more relaxation into our daily routines. I don’t know about you, but my sleep has been suffering throughout the pandemic and as a result I’ve found myself in the middle of a very wide, never-ending yawn, that is slowly but surely taking over my waking life. In order to explore this theme in a bit more depth, and to find some creative inspiration, I decided to find out how other people like to relax. The findings were unexpected, varied and interesting.
What is “Rest” and why am I writing about it?
The dictionary defines rest as “ceasing work or movement in order to relax, sleep or recover strength”. To recuperate is “to recover from illness or exertion”. Interestingly, relaxation is “the state of being free from tension and anxiety”.
So being relaxed is definitely somewhere I want to be, and if prioritising rest and recuperation helps me to get there, then that’s absolutely where I’m going to focus my energy.
Why are ‘Rest’ and ‘Recuperation’ so important right now?
Over the last few years, the pandemic has impacted upon worldwide wellbeing, so I can’t think of a better time to focus on our need to rest. Our hands are dry from all the happy birthday hand washing, our homes have never been more lived-in and our brains are full of the constant news updates and daily statistics.
We’re adapting to the ‘new normal’ and while some of these changes are welcome, some of them very much aren’t. We’re worrying more than we usually have space for and we aren’t really sure that anyone really has the answers. It’s a scary time and we are all feeling the impact of this in some way or another.
Therefore, there has never been a more significant time to make sure that you are looking after yourself and your loved ones. Taking adequate time to rest, recuperate and relax is a sure fire way to help you feel more in control and capable of coping with whatever life brings to your doorstep.
Extremely scientific (and not at all haphazard) methodology
Having read what feels like thousands of scientific journals for my Social Work degree, and having no interest in exaggerating at all, I thought it would be fun to create a pseudo scientific experiment and write it up fancy journal style with big words and silly titles.
I prepared two questions, “What is your favourite way to relax?” and “How do you know when you need to take a break?”.
I then hounded 20 lucky contestants via whatsapp, email, facebook messenger and in person (from a distance of 2 metres) and used the ‘raw qualitative data’ to seek themes and develop ideas for how we might use this information to improve our relationship with ‘rest’.
The sample of participants were male, female and non binary, with an age range from 5 - 62. The demographic was largely White British and all participants bar one, were based in the UK. In order to provide more substantive outcomes for the world’s population, this theme would need to be explored by someone with the skills to conduct actual scientific enquiry. And with a much larger participant base including all ethnicities, ages, cultures, genders, sexualities and all other characteristics that make the human race so very interesting and diverse. All participants were informed that their responses would remain anonymous, only one participant requested their data to be shared with a false name. None of the totally inappropriate “code names” put forward by the participant were selected.
Exciting (vaguely scientific) findings
Question One: “What is your favourite way to relax?”
This process helped me to recognise how individual the concept of ‘relaxation’ is to each and every one of us. We’ve all got our own methods of slowing the world so we can sit out a little while. As expected, there were a number of themes that stood out when reading through the responses. The most strikingly obvious finding being that the majority of activities listed were activities that are often practised in solitude; such as bathing, reading and meditating. It was also interesting to see that many activities involved nature, whether it was walking in the countryside, gardening, hanging out with a cat or experiencing the weather. Music was another common denominator - whether it’s making your own or listening to the stuff and perhaps unsurprisingly, alcohol featured quite heavily.
For the full list of responses, please scroll down for Appendix 1.
Question Two: “How do you know when you need to take a break?”
Digging a little deeper, we discussed the ways in which people recognise that they need to take a little down time. These varied from person to person but again there were emergent themes. Many people said they found themselves short tempered and irritable when feeling overwhelmed. There were multiple reports of impact on mood and sociability, which confirms the previous comment that rest and recuperation tends to be a solo activity. Some of the people consulted said they struggle to concentrate or experience ‘brain fog’ when needing a break. Some people stated that they find themselves feeling anxious and tearful while others recognised a whole range of physical symptoms, from aches and tiredness through to full on viral coldsore outbreaks. Lots of people mentioned that they usually fail to recognise the signs until it is “too late” and they have reached “tipping point”.
For the full list of response, please scroll down to Appendix 2.
Conclusion
If you’ve got this far, well done you. It’s nearly time to take a break, I’ve already had several.
It is evident from the findings that the first question was a lot easier to answer for most people, as everyone was able to indicate at least one activity which relaxes them. However, several respondents did not know when they need to take a break, or were unable to answer the second question at all. It is clear there is a common tendency for people to wait until it is too late before employing ‘rest mode’.
The main conclusion drawn from this ‘study’ is that relaxation is a big part of people’s lives, but we perhaps don’t prioritise it as much as we should.
If we all took a little bit of time to recognise the mental and physical feelings that arise when we’ve taken on too much, or are in need of some rest, we’d probably all feel that little bit more resilient. Why don’t we give it a go and try to relax a bit more? By letting go of some of this need to ‘always be productive’ we might find ourselves feeling generally calmer, more energised and ready to take on the more stressful stuff.
Further to the above, it is also evident that mock social science experiments are a fun thing to do. Why not give it a go yourself and find out how the people in your circles like to relax? It might give you some ideas for your own self care. It might also help you to recognise and point out to your friends when they might need to take some time out. Sometimes it’s easier for us to see that our friends are burning the candle at both ends (and down the middle) than it is for them to see it for themselves. Letting them know your stress barometer and symptoms will also help them to guide you more easily towards the deep, warm, lavender scented bubble bath they’ve prepared for you.
Aiming to be “free of tension and anxiety” seems like a beautiful goal to have and thanks to everyone who contributed, we now have quite an extensive list of things to do. Now where did I leave that barbie?
Appendix 1. The Responses: “My favourite way to relax is…”
Playing the piano - When I am playing the piano, I forget about everything else and just feel the vibrations. And doing Yoga - When I am doing yoga, I find myself only thinking about my breathing and when they ask me to do the hard bits I find myself thinking about how my abs are burning.
I turn off from everything for a bit, watch a film, comfy on the sofa, no phone calls or jobs, just an hour and half of escapism.
With a newspaper.
Playing with my toys, barbie, actually any toys. And lying down.
Sleeping, reading, writing, reading what I have written and also when someone tells me it’s Friday.
Being outdoors, gardening, listening to music and having a lie in.
Reading, playing games on my phone, chilling with the cat. A massage (when they’re open) and pedicures, facials. When I’m stressed, a bath, a face mask and a book.
Yoga (when open), I like using my weighted hula hoop in public spaces, like the skatepark. Sex and wine, a massage from my lover and cigarettes.
A cup of tea, or glass of wine, Sitting in the garden watching nature unfold. A walk in the countryside taking in the scenery, weather etc.
Walking in the countryside.
With a cold pint in a nice beer garden.
This is my perfect picture of relaxation: It’s dark and raining outside. I’m curled up on the sofa, the living room softly illuminated by my golden lamps. The stereo is on, Thom Yorke is singing. I’m lost in an engrossing book. I have wine, good food and pure peace.
It depends really, if I am feeling stressed, then I meditate, but just normally I would have a walk or a bath or something. It depends on what I’m feeling before I try to relax really. Sometimes booze gets you the instant karma? Or a smoke. [Response provided by Albert “swizzle-sticks” Pemberton]
A bath! Or cooking a curry from scratch, at the weekend, with a glass of wine.
A deep bubble bath, read a book, play a video game.
Food - cooking, eating, pigging out.
Having a long luxurious bath, which is a rarity for me as I only have a shower at home, so it relies on the kindness of others (and it being a space I feel comfortable fully relaxing in). I also really enjoy just being around my family or friends, just hanging out. No purpose, no ‘to do list’, just being. I have a bit of an addiction to ‘sorting’, ‘organising’ and rearranging things around my home… I think it’s called ‘pottering’.
Play games or eat.
Have a beer and buy shit on the internet.
Drink tea, watch mindless tv, get outside, make plans! This one is really helpful at the moment, given that we cant do much, but having things planned in is great for allowing me to know that better things are coming.
Appendix 2. The Responses: “How do you know when you need to take a break?”
I’m not really sure, I think I don’t notice until it’s too late.
I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and I still don’t know when I need to take a break. Not that I’m saying anything other than I think it’s a question of regulation - meditation is like exercise and requires a level of discipline, so I feel like I have to do it regularly even when I don’t feel stressed. I also have therapy sometimes when I don’t feel I ‘need’ it, because there are factors at play in everyday life that I just don’t take into account consciously. Never bought into mindfulness though, it seems a bit cultish for me. [Response provided by Albert “swizzle-sticks” Pemberton]
When my feet hurt I know I have to relax.
Funny, I have never thought about it. Genuinely, I think I do things instinctively, not consciously.
I know when to take a break when I feel stressed, physically faint or my head feels like it is spinning, like I’m going to pass out any minute.
I take a break when I’ve done enough work for the day.
Mood: low/anxious/negative/bad temper. Physical: headache/aching body/sore eyes/low energy/sleepy.
I start to lose concentration or I feel on edge, or both.
I feel overwhelmed, short tempered and irritable. I find myself losing focus, not being able to concentrate but the main, most obvious thing is endless, pointless procrastination. Unless, procrastination is actually resting? In which case, I’m confused.
It’s like a white noise feeling where I’m so disconnected I cant really make decisions or come to conclusions. Probs should take a break sooner but I have just moved house so I haven’t been able to. Also I just feel like this huge overwhelming urge to sleep and if I don’t I get a cold sore.
I guess it builds up slowly, I start to notice my muscles are more tense and it becomes harder to switch off, my mind sends my body signals, I try to tune in before it begins a journey.
Because you are tired, moody and cant concentrate.
I just feel all antisocial and don’t want to do anything or see anyone.
Not really sure. Just when I want to switch off for a while.
My patience gets short when I’m stressed - I have to check myself to realise it. And I get snappy. And can’t think - get brain block. Usually at work.
I don’t now when to take a break, thats my issue.
I’m not really sure, I think it changes depending on what I am stressed by.
Participant did not respond (they were taking a nap).
Participant did not respond (they were in the bath).
Participant did not respond (there was a sock on the door handle).
